Free write activity

Ryan DeLuca

I typed everything that came to my mind.

After reading the story about toast I feel like I have a better understanding of what consists of one’s identity. I feel your identity is created by your actions, they may not be intentional but your actions have a role in how you create or how someone may create your identity. In the toast story there is a woman named Ginuietta Carrelli, she had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder seems to be difficult to deal with but Carrelli strong will to change her self-image from a maniac to a trust worth hardworking business woman is a powerful story to tell. Her story about being kicked to the curb by multiple employers and landlords because they didn’t understand her disorder really makes you lose faith in today’s society. Until she starts talking about how she talked to an old man who sun bathed in the sun every day in the same spot, she started talking to him more after she moved back from college and the small conversations they had made a big difference in Carrelli’s health. She had been drinking and was self-medicated at the time and wanted to improve herself and re-shape her image. So she started making connections and started talking to more people on that same beach. Carrelli was homeless and was found sleeping on the floor of the coffee shop she was currently working at, the coffee shop owner recommended to Carrelli that she is ready to open her own coffee shop, so she started talking to people around the china beach area, she had talked to the old man that sunbathed in the same spot everyday and he encouraged her to follow her dream of opening a coffee shop, so she went to the city and asked for advise on opening a small business and borrowed some money to purchase and renovate a small building that she wouls turn into a coffee shop and name “Trouble”. I like her store name and menu because it has meaning behind it. The word “Trouble” she came up with because of the people that helped her when she was in “Trouble”. Her menu items seem peculiar but have meaning behind them as well. She serves coconuts, fresh squeezed grapefruit juice that she named yoko because of the high source of vitamin C, the toast on her menu represents comfort, toast represents comfort because it reminds her of home because her mom used to make her for her as a kid. Her coffee represents communication and speed because when you drink coffee your brains speed increases and you have better communication. The coconuts on her menu represent survival because this is what she lived off of when he was having a hard time with money, she lived off of grapefruit juice and coconuts for about three years. Carrelli made her shop her identity she shaped the way people look at her and what people think of her, she made her coffee shop part of her life story and her hardship she had before she managed to pull herself out of her bad situation. This is a great example of how you shape your identity, she is now known as a strong independent woman who despite her disorder pulled herself out of a hole and started filling it in.

I can’t relate to pulling myself out of a situation like Carrelli’s but I can relate to shaping how and what people think of me. When I was a sophomore in Highschool someone made a comment on my clothes, my regular wardrobe at the time was a comfortable I usually wore baggy clothes that looked to big on me, and at the time I was almost two hundred pounds, I didn’t particularly like the clothes I wore they weren’t really my style, ive tried on clothes that are more my style but they just didn’t fit comfortably. With my weight I became self-conscious about what other people thought the clothes that I didn’t particularly like but didn’t really put that much thought into it. I really wanted to lose weight because I didn’t like how big I was, and I wanted to be able to dress in my style of clothes and fit comfortably in them in order to do that I had to drop drop a letter size and 3 inches around my waist. It felt easy because I was tired of looking at the scale and seeing 198 and wearing clothes that I didn’t feel confident in. So I started going to the gym with my dad. Now I am a junior in highschool and I didn’t see the results I was hoping for, I gained muscle mass but didn’t drop much weight I now weight 190. With my newly acquired license I started getting to the gym two hours earlier than my dad to do some running on the tread mill. I did two hours of running three days a week as well as stopped eating the very unhealthy school lunch that was also over-priced, my diet mostly consisted of eating less of what I was already eating while adding in some healthier alternatives such as fruit and yogurt I also cut soft drinks entirely and as soon as I didn’t that combined with the two hours of cardio three days a week the weight melted off, I dropped 25 pounds in 4 month and still had some more body fat to loose. At this point I am happy with my self and am starting to feel like I am becoming myself, but I didn’t fit into my old clothes so I had to go out and purchase a whole new wardrobe, with the new wardrobe I wanted to dress in clothes that fit right and also felt right, my style is cheaply expensive, this style consisted of brands that were thought to be high- end and premium but were actually half price and name brand. You can be on a budget and still get high end clothes you just gotta know where to look. My new outfits would spark conversations with class mates, they would ask how much I paid for that particular piece of clothing and would be shocked at how cheap I got it for. There was this one kid that I got the same shit as and he came up to me and said that I had a nice shirt while wearing that same shirt and I returned the gesture and asked where he got his and he said the brands outlet store and I would gasp and say that I got the same shirt for half price at an off-price retail store (T.J Maxx), not only did me being myself spark conversations with other people who also like clothes it helped me gain the body confidence I was lacking. My new style seemed to help me look easier to approach, once people approached me they found that I was fairly easy to talk to and very down to earth. My whole Identity changed when I lost the weight I was eager to lose and wore the clothes I felt like myself.